Monday, 19 October 2015

The art of anger

"Once again, it's very hard being six!.. And you are all loosers!" yelled my son out of his room, while barricading himself inside. He felt he was treated unfairly. I felt he needs to spend time alone.

I thought indeed, it's probably very hard being six years old. You don't know where your reactions are coming from. You merely face the storm, while being in the middle of the ocean. How can he learn about respect and dignity without being fully conscious of why is he becoming disrespectful in the first place.

If it took me over 30 years to become aware of my own thoughts that produce my emotions, how can I expect anything of a six year old?

Yuri got his time out for not handling it well this time. When he was ready to come out, Sean, my partner, spoke to him about handling his emotions and respect. I find it miraculous what a profound change a man-to-man conversation can bring. Yuri apologized with a cool headed acceptance.

I yogaed later that evening. As I grounded in the flow, I began to accept that for now it's only a boundary of allowed behavior that he received. For now, it's only a rule. I know that he cooled without grasping the whole concept of trigger reactions. It's not his time yet.
He will break that boundary. He will make his own rules.

Maybe then, when I see that he can look in the mirror and really see clearly I can ask him the question that may change it all for him:

Who do you want to be in the face of not getting what you want?