Monday, 7 April 2014

What do you love about love

To all moms...

You know that feeling of your child clinging to your knee for security? You feel her need for you.
Feels good to be someone's everything. Someone's protector. Someone's love.
Or does it?

I know it gives me chills.
It's a direct stroke to my ego. Feels unreal. All that? To me?
I know why it feels unreal. Because it isn't.
Not only you cannot be someone's everything, you shouldn't be.
I'm not saying to push your child away what she hugs you.
I'm saying take it as a sign to work on building her self esteem and self love.
Give your unconditional, but make sure she has some of her own.

Being mom isn't about getting the bonuses (the "mommy, you're the best"s, the hugs, the kisses and those you-are-my-everything-clings). It's about giving the bonuses.
Everything you've got and more. And knowing it most likely won't come back. Well, at least not to you. Sad, but mother's love is a one way street. The bonus you'll get in the end is that she'll love her children the same way. Because she'll know how to. What you've given will stay with her. She will pass it on. Unconditionally. All out. That's your gratification. That's why you do it.

So, invest. Don't cling back when she grabs you. Give her the hold she needs now, but work with her to get her own love going after. Reassure her she is worth being everything for herself.

P.S. - I only say she out of convenience here. Same goes for boys. They need immense loving. They'll have to father a family someday.

What would I tell my daughter about boys

I post this with Alissa in my mind, but for a 19 year old girl who just broke up with her first serious boyfriend. I remember that pain. I know nothing and no one helps, besides maybe blaming him for all of it.
My worst fear is my daughter repeating my mistakes with men, or worse, making mistakes I wouldn't make because she didn't know any better.
Every man in our lives matter.
They change us in an unimaginable way and leave a dent after a dent in our hearts.

Here is my compilation of my knowledge base. It won't make you smart with men, but it will give you a perspective.

A foreword... These are not articles on how to train a guy, or get the guy to do something you want.

These are the articles on how to change yourself to attract the right man in your life.
How to re-position your perspective to be able to see the right man and become the right woman for him.

Most importantly, all of this won't help if you won't do your own research. I'll repeat. Looking through these links will not help. Looking for information will.

Rori Raye's:
3 ways to make him fall for you
Could you be chasing him and not know it?
What to do if he is backing away
Get his attention fast even if he is ignoring you
How do you build trust and what does trust have to do with love anyway - the whole site. Read all of it. Just do it.
particular ones from that site that may not be in the main list:
Is casual sex harmless
men don't fall in love with perfect women
what is wife material

Matthew Hussey - dating and relationship coach:
 Would you date yourself?
3 Confident female mindsets that drive guys wild
 9 steps to get the guy

On breaking up...

“Being a bodhisattva means that when people come, don’t cut them off; when people go, don’t cut them off.”

 The laws of breaking up and getting over it

Take this list with a grain of salt...

18 relationship red flags
How to detect lies (yes, important part of being in a relationship)

I'll add this at the end, but really, it should be the first one, cause the self is what it's all about..

I'll be updating the list as I go, hope it's a good start.

All the love to you,