Wednesday, 4 December 2013

First scar

I'm not sure who the traumatic experiences are more traumatic for the kids or the parents. Four days later I'm still having nightmares about holding Yuri down while he gets his face stitched...
This Saturday he run his face into a table corner. There was a triangular whole in my son's face. I thought my soul left my body for a second when I saw that.
As we waited in the ER room,  I prep talked him to what was going to happen. I told him that the freezing is so strong you can't FEEL anything,  but he will SEE it,  and it will be scary. But it will be over very soon. I said "You just need to live through that".
He looked at me and he said "I know that,  mama. I just don't know how to. "
I was taken back.
My heart squirmed and I was proud at the same time.
It was such a mature way to recognize his fear.
I'm curious how did he remember the events?  How is he going to tell the story when he grows up? Did he

feel enough support?  Did he feel protected and cared for? I guess I'll only find out then. And you never know how it will come out. Past is unpredictable.
In the end,  it's comes down to stories we tell. They make up our lives, yet they are completely perception dependent.
I hope I gave him enough love though this experience so that when he is grown up and he gets scared he won't feel alone and unprotected. I hope he takes the love with him, inside of him.