Tuesday, 20 May 2014

Meditation of the imperfect


How do I find the strength to end my own agony
of wishing for more of perfect? Where do I seek the wisdom? 
How do I break my own cycle,  that I enjoy so masochistically.
There is a sweet pleasure in this self torture of setting
expectations so high - I want it all now. 

How do I start seeing the romance of losing the war of ego
and start enjoying the grapes that I forgot to get at Longos and the spills
of food and the cranky baby that won't be content for more than 2.5 min in a row
and the dog trying to get children's food and the last fork in the sink after I've
cleaned up 5 or some insane number of times and the back pain that strikes
just when the kids are down and I have time to do stuff. ... and oh too
many imperfections of life that make every day seem like a constant
barrage of tiny problems that make me feel like in order to
survive I have to jump through hoop and over a barrier
and then again all day long.
How do I make myself find a beauty in all this?
Is it me being hormonal? I'm so tired of that excuse.
How do I prolong the mediation so that the world don't start
spinning crazy as soon as I open my eyes?