Monday, 7 April 2014

What do you love about love

To all moms...

You know that feeling of your child clinging to your knee for security? You feel her need for you.
Feels good to be someone's everything. Someone's protector. Someone's love.
Or does it?

I know it gives me chills.
It's a direct stroke to my ego. Feels unreal. All that? To me?
I know why it feels unreal. Because it isn't.
Not only you cannot be someone's everything, you shouldn't be.
I'm not saying to push your child away what she hugs you.
I'm saying take it as a sign to work on building her self esteem and self love.
Give your unconditional, but make sure she has some of her own.

Being mom isn't about getting the bonuses (the "mommy, you're the best"s, the hugs, the kisses and those you-are-my-everything-clings). It's about giving the bonuses.
Everything you've got and more. And knowing it most likely won't come back. Well, at least not to you. Sad, but mother's love is a one way street. The bonus you'll get in the end is that she'll love her children the same way. Because she'll know how to. What you've given will stay with her. She will pass it on. Unconditionally. All out. That's your gratification. That's why you do it.

So, invest. Don't cling back when she grabs you. Give her the hold she needs now, but work with her to get her own love going after. Reassure her she is worth being everything for herself.

P.S. - I only say she out of convenience here. Same goes for boys. They need immense loving. They'll have to father a family someday.